There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
