I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
