Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
