Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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