Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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