My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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