Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
