i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
