The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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