Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
