walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
