Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you inspire me to be a worse person
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
