so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I am spending my child support on dildos
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
