Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
