About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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