ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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