Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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