This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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