I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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