Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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