Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Where is the hickey?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Its about making memories worth repressing
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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