other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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