Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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