every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
