Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
