So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she smelled like a LAN party
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
