Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
