I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize