No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
