come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
True strength comes from lack of pants
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
