Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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