i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Terrible idea I love it
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
