I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Nicole vs. Life
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
