i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
