If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
