If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We left an ass print on the piano.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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