it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
