and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
