just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
