About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
