fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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