Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize