u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
