I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
