Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
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