it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
