Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
