when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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