how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
