I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
