It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize