Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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