Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
