Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
