you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
