3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
