There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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