Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
