You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
All I want is dick and wine.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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