Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Randomize
