dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
