Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
